So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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