I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
