I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
