I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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