i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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