how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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