it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize