He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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