I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
tonight lets celebrate not being married
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
