You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
