that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
