We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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