then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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