Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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