I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
