I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
