i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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