To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize