Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
