you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
