Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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