In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
