i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
