12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
