I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
