i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
