i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
