So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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