I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
