wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
