this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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