Will you blow on my dice?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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