I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
