You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
