He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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