I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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