She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
