Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
