the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize