she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He? As in you personified your dick?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
