I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
