i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
