So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
