I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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