Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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