ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
