I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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