I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
