like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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