Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
