get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
