Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
dude. I can hear the air.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
