He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
