just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
