I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
