I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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