Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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