The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
