I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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