do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've blown a few things in my day
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
