now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
