So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
