That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
