I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
