I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
