So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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