It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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