Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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