i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
