.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Two words: blizzard sex
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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